The Buddhist Concept Of Near Enemies
Category: Buddhist Path | Love & Compassion Meditation | Recent Meditation Posts
The Buddhist concept of near enemies describes look-alike virtues; close to the real thing, but not quite the same. Understanding and addressing near enemies helps us to act with a genuine goodness that is infused with wisdom and understanding.
Undermining Positive Emotion
We’ve all been there. We’re going through a hard time and someone says, “Oh, I’m so sorry.” But it doesn’t feel like they truly mean it. There’s a condescending tone in their voice. Or, maybe we’ve done this to someone else. We might tell ourselves we’re being compassionate. We might even believe we’re expressing compassion. And yet, we maintain some level of separateness – perhaps thinking: this would never happen to me because I’m different from you.
This is just one example of the Buddhist concept of ‘near enemy.’ In this case, an example of pity, the near enemy of compassion. If compassion is the impetus to reduce suffering, its far enemy, cruelty, is easily identified as the opposite. A near enemy, however, can sometimes be difficult to distinguish.
Pity can look or feel like compassion, but it is not quite the same. When pitied, we generally don’t feel better about ourselves or our situation. In fact, we often feel worse! Near enemies undermine our assumed efforts toward accumulating merit. To identify near enemies of good qualities is to bring greater awareness to our expression of emotions and the effect it has on others.
What are Near and Far Enemies?
In Buddhism, near and far enemies are traditionally applied to the brahmaviharas, known in mahayana practice as the four immeasurable qualities of a wise and open heart. The concept of near enemies, however, can be applied to nearly any virtue we hope to cultivate. While the far enemy is the clear opposite of the virtue, the near enemy appears close to the desired virtue, but actually impedes it.
The following table presents the classic far and near enemies of the four immeasurables:
| Desired Virtue | Far Enemy | Near Enemy |
| Loving-Kindness | Ill-Will | Conditional Love |
| Compassion | Cruelty | Pity |
| Appreciative Joy | Jealousy/Pride | Conditional Joy |
| Equanimity | Craving/Aversion | Indifference/Ignorance |
We can extend the concept of near enemy beyond the four immeasurables to other virtues too. On the surface, near enemies may feel helpful or warranted. Or, we may simply confuse them for the ‘true’ virtue. For example, love and hate are clearly opposites. But many of us confuse a conditional codependency for love. When we love because we depend on getting something in return, we erode the authentic experience of love we long for.
A near enemy of healthy regret may look like shame or guilt. Near enemies of confidence could include self-aggrandizing or egoism. The near enemy of being honest may include venting or trauma-dumping, while the near enemy of acceptance allows for the transgression of healthy boundaries.
To gather the good karma of meritorious action by keeping our virtues pure, we need a way to see our blind spots, to discern between near enemies and true goodness.
Differentiating Near Enemies From Noble Virtues
The near enemy is a mental state that is quite close to the beneficial state, but retains traces of a worldview that is perfumed by the three poisons of attachment, aversion and ignorance. It is an attempted expression of virtue, absent of wisdom.
Discerning between a genuine virtue and its near enemy is a practice in applying wisdom. We might ask ourselves, “Is my expression of this emotion rooted in the truth of interdependence?” Or, “Is there something I am clinging to or avoiding?”
To prevent bypassing and uncover our deepest intentions, it’s helpful if these questions come not from the thinking mind, but the heart. Thus, in a state of embodied awareness, we might ask ourselves, “Is my heart truly open in this moment? And are my actions aligned with that truth?”
